How It Tasted
Watermelon
Cubes (Served In Sherbet Glasses)
As it turned out this melon was a tad overripe after
all.
Still, it was tasty and, along with the peas, added a
much-needed touch of color to the menu. (Tan, yellow, and white—this is the
third meal in a row featuring Bettina’s favorite colors, and it's like being trapped in a sand dune).
Fried
Spring Chicken
I thought the chicken was top notch, but my husband
didn’t agree. What seemed to me tender and succulent he interpreted as undercooked,
and my son would have like a heavier, crunchier coating.
But on one point we all agreed: younger, smaller birds
are far better than fowl in their tweens or teens (so to speak). Yes, you do
get less meat on a younger bird but, as it costs the same pound for pound, who
cares? This is one area in which Bettina has definitely changed my marketing
habits: from now on I’m going to select smaller birds and simply buy two if
necessary.
(Gravy)
Although this wasn’t listed on the menu the chapter
did provide a recipe. And I had every intention of making it—really it
shouldn’t have been too much trouble as the gravy was be stirred up in the same
pan that held the chicken.
Unfortunately…
I’m
not exactly sure what could have been concocted in a pan as messy as
this, but it certainly wouldn't be gravy!
New
Potatoes
Boiled potatoes sprinkled with parsley *ho hum*. I
wish I could think of something original or witty to say about a dish I’ve made so
very many times, but the words simply aren’t there (except—Bettina really needs
to learn some new potato dishes before Bob goes on a hunger strike).
Creamed
Peas
Filip:
None for me, thanks.
When my son refuses a serving of peas I know something’s wrong.
And so there was: the peas looked absolutely terrible.
For some reason the cream sauce covering them turned a sort of translucent gray—rather
like dirty dishwater swirling down the drain. DS wouldn’t touch them, my
husband was visibly unenthusiastic, and they looked so unappetizing I didn’t want to
eat them either.
Hot
Rolls
My no stretch of the imagination could these hefty
break-apart be considered dainty, but
they certainly were good. Yes, they are more work to prepare than slicing up a
loaf of commercial French bread, but they’re also 1000% better and well worth
the extra trouble.
Currant
Jelly
After a spoonful of this jelly I felt both
disappointed and triumphant—the former because I spent almost ten dollars on
this jar of super sweet goo; the latter because the stuff I make myself is so
much better.
Even my husband, a real jam and jelly aficionado,
wasn’t impressed by this. He spread a little on his roll and then concentrated
on the half-inch or so of homemade jelly sitting at the bottom of its jar.
Brides’
Cake
Bleah! This cake was simply dreadful; damp and rubbery
but somehow very solid, like a wad of
modeling clay left to dry out.
A
Thousand Ways To Please A Husband suggests the cake be cut
up, put in little boxes, and distributed to the guests—presumably for them to
sleep on in adherence to that age-old tradition.
Bad idea. Even under a stack of pillows the cake’s solid
presence would be much too evident, and like the fairy tale princess and the pea the
unfortunate guest sleeping on top of it would toss and turn all night.
Peach
Ice Cream
Milomir:
Did you use canned peaches for this?
My husband instantly knew the ice cream contained
something other than fresh peaches (they were frozen, in fact), and this
knowledge seemed to spoil somewhat his enjoyment of the dessert.
My son thought it tasted OK but not much different
than the stuff I purchase at the supermarket, and I (regretfully) had to agree.
Not that it was bad, really—just not worth the labor
it took to make (and the pains in my hand and wrist the following day).
Nuts
Planter’s Fancy Mixed Nuts came away with full
honors—hours after the meal ended my husband and son were still nibbling on
them.
Candy
Filip:
What kind of cookies are these?
The chocolate turtles were in fact chocolate turtles but, thanks to the
fact that they had no pecan flippers and minimal nuts inside, my son didn’t
even recognize them as such. “Mass-produced” is probably the best way to
describe them—adequate, but not something really appropriate on a special
occasion like a wedding.
Coffee
Thank the Lord for hot coffee—as so often happens
after a Bettina meal I needed some serious caffeine to keep me awake.
And thank goodness as well for percolators. Some
people consider them inferior, but I couldn’t disagree more. To me and my
husband it’s far better and smoother than any other type and worlds apart from
the Turkish-style brew we drank for so many years.
Would I Make This Again?
Certain items, obviously—I enjoyed the chicken, the
rolls were a hit with all of us, and certainly the nuts and the candy were
well-received.
But the blah potatoes and grayish peas didn’t go over
well, and even wedding guests buzzed on champagne wouldn’t be able to choke
down that cake. Plunking this sort of thing down at a reception
nowadays would illicit instant reaction from the guests—either full-scale rebellion
or (more likely) a run at adjoining fast food places as folks sneaked out for a bite to eat.
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