Chapter 9 (Uncle John and Aunt Lucy Make A Visit)

Introduction

 Yet another meal to be served to guests…this time (fortunately) the mild-mannered Uncle John and his equally placid wife, Lucy.

Caught in an unexpected rainstorm they succumb to Bettina’s arm-twisting to “have a little lunch with us” and then to “stay here all night!”

Given that a grand tour of Bettina’s kitchen is included and, at the last moment, a lavish breakfast thrown in—who could resist such an offer?

Part 1

The Menu

Jellied Beef

Potato Chips

Radishes

Peanut Butter Sandwiches

Almond Ice Box Cookies (1932 edition)

Fresh Pears

Iced Tea

Preparing the Meal

Jellied Beef

I had a chunk of leftover pot at the ready, and dicing it into bits was no trick.

But once again the quantity of raw materials listed in the recipe didn’t seem to take into consideration the generous size of standard kitchenware. With only 1½ cups of gelatinized beef to work with there was no mold suitably small enough, and my second choice—a three-cup mixing bowl—was too large also.

The beef mixture was simple enough to prepare, but ugh…it looked pretty unappetizing after being poured into a ceramic cereal bowl. The thought of serving up this concoction to my family made me shudder--whatever the taste it looked revolting. I can’t imagine it’s going to appear any tastier after congealing in the fridge for a few hours, but oh well—this Bettina wanna be does her best.

Potato Chips

After the distress caused by the appearance of the jellied beef (see above) I decided to go the extra mile and serve homemade potato chips rather than a bag purchased from the supermarket.

None of Bettina’s books contain a recipe for homemade chips, so I was forced to search for a recipe I vaguely recalled in one of the Jane and Michael Stern’s Square Meals. Happily I was able to locate it, and on first reading seemed simple enough…

Alas cutting five large potatoes into paper-thin slices was murder on my wrist and an even greater trial on my patience. It took me an agonizingly long time to get the potatoes ready and then, after soaking the slices in ice water, I realized that the cord to my electric fryer had somehow disappeared.

Down but not out I decided to instead use the stovetop, a deep kettle, and a thermometer to regulate the heat. Women have been deep frying for centuries without electric pans and automatic cookers, so how hard could it be?

…not hard at all, much to my surprise. Frequent use of the thermometer and a certain amount of twiddling with the knobs on the stove kept the temperature more or less in the safe zone, and the chips looked great after I lifted them from the pan. They were a bit darker in color than I would have liked maybe, but the texture was excellent and they were absolutely, undeniably 100% fresh.

Radishes

Radishes simply de-leafed, scrubbed clean, and plunked in a bowl of ice chips— a huge relief after all that torturous potato cutting I’d done earlier.

Peanut Butter Sandwiches

Ordinary peanut butter simply spread on bread? Not on Bettina’s table!

I’ve noticed that those Bettina’s thousand ways of pleasing a husband usually involve frou-frou elevated to the nth degree, and this recipe was no exception.

Plain old peanut butter simply wouldn’t do here—as instructed I added butter and salt, whipped it with salad dressing (gulp), spread it on the bread, and--the Bettina trademark—inserted a leaf or two of lettuce into each sandwich.

I have to admit that these are like no sandwiches I’ve ever seen, but they certainly are—well—different.

Almond Ice Box Cookies

 These cookies didn’t appear in the original edition of the book, but they seemed easy enough to make and would (I thought) be a nice addition to the fresh pairs listed on the menu.

 The recipe claimed that the ingredients mixed would produce a “stiff dough”, and it really wasn’t exaggerating. After rolling the dough into two wax-papered cylinders I realized I had a couple of formidable weapons in my hands—perfect for clonking burglars over the head or, in a more domestic moment, driving nails into the walls for pictures.

Pears

Pear season it ain’t.

I had a terrible time finding fresh pairs in any of my three regular supermarkets, and those that I finally located were hard as rocks.

This might have not mattered if I’d bought this fruit a day or two before—the pears could have been placed in a paper bag and allowed to ripen further. But no, I foolishly put it off until the last moment, and these green clonkers were the result.

Iced Tea

This seemed the perfect beverage for a light lunch/supper, and I knew my husband and son would chug it down.

I did happen to have some loose tea in the pantry, but unfortunately I failed to notice that the edges of the tea infuser didn't quite meet until after the tea was brewed. After spotting a layer of brown dust floating on the surface of the water I had no choice but to throw it out.

After trying and failing a second time I abandoned the diffuser and hauled out a box of Lipton’s. And, as un-Bettina like as it seemed to have 6 modern tea bags floating in the pot, it seemed to work just fine. After straining the tea I poured it into a pitcher and placed it in the refrigerator to chill, gathered some mint leaves to add later, and made sure I had plenty of ice ready.

How It Looked