Chapter 43 (Sunday Dinner at the Dixons’ continued)

How It Tasted

Fried Chicken

Foul! (pun not intended)

Sadly, the chicken was indescribably bad—an assault on practically all of the senses that left everyone at the table rather stunned. Despite reaching an internal temperature of 175 degrees Fahrenheit the chicken was a rubbery as if it had just fluttered onto the table—our jaws were working double time to get it down.

And of course the look of the bird was equally appalling (see above). As I’d noticed during the frying process the browned part of each piece stuck to the bottom of the pan and then broke down, leaving each piece with a layer wallpaper paste well-spiked with oil.

This dish was so terrible that no one even realized it was supposed to fried chicken (I was too embarrassed to enlighten them). I doubt Mrs. Dixon’s version came out as badly as mine, but there’s no doubt in my mind that, had that been the case, her husband would have called for an immediate end to the domestic experiment and moved back to the hotel that night.

Dixie Sweet Potatoes

Another failure—not on as grand a scale as the chicken, but still pretty bad.

The main trouble with the potatoes was not that they were too sweet but rather failed to cook evenly. In the allotted cooking time some became tender, some mushy, and some seemingly as tough as when they first went into the oven.

The dish’s appearance was also something of a stunner to everyone: great, knobby potatoes covered with slices of frizzled bacon and unidentifiable gooey bits of something [pineapple] that everyone nervously avoided.

Corn on the Cob

Filip: This I like.

This simple dish was a godsend and ultimately saved us from the expense of a delivery pizza. After passing on the chicken and potatoes (not that I could blame them) DH and Son were ravenous, and the corn filled them up nicely. I had cooked three ears and that really wasn’t enough—they easily could have twice as much.

Bread and Butter

I’m not a corn fancier so for me this dish was manna from heaven—after eschewing the poisonous chicken and potatoes I too was ravenous and stuffed myself with bread. Certainly there was nothing special about this commercial, pre-sliced loaf, but at least it was there and really pretty decent.

Sliced Cucumber, Tomato and Onion Salad

A confession: I cheated here with the dressing. One taste of Mr. Dixon’s specialty sent me straight to the bottle of Kraft Zesty Italian I keep tucked away in the refrigerator. Unlike my husband and son I don’t mind an acid tang in dressings, but this was just too much—like chugging vinegar straight from the bottle.

The vegetables themselves were less successful than expected—I think we all would have preferred thin slices rather than adobe-like blocks (although my son did derive some entertainment by stacking them into towers).

Vanilla Ice Cream with Peaches

Milomir: I’ll have some more of that.

This was the one true success of the meal, and it was a huge relief to have something come out well. The ice cream was far superior to any commercial brand I’ve ever tasted—smooth and creamy, not overly sweet, and with just a touch of vanilla.

The peaches meant to accompany the ice cream however were something of a flop. They were purchased frozen (as noted above) and, even properly defrosted, had an unsettling crunch that clashed with the oh-so-smooth cream.

White Cake

Milomir: Are there any nuts to sprinkle on top?

I really enjoyed this cake—DH and Son were somewhat less enthusiastic.

The cake itself was what I’ve come to expect from Bettina-style cakes: dense, weighty, anything but delicate. But the frosting was excellent, with a pleasant color and a nice caramel-like flavor. My husband thought some chopped nuts would have improved it but, in my opinion, that would have been gilding the lily.

Iced Tea

Again, I appreciated this beverage more than my husband and son (the caffeine thing again, I suppose), but they both dutifully drank a glass. It helped some that besides adding lemon slices I’d pre-sugared the tea—certainly made it more palatable and saved everyone the trouble of searching for the sugar bowl.

Would I Make This Again?

Heck, no…taken as a whole this meal took far too long to prepare, and two of the dishes were completely inedible. Quick and easy it isn’t—Mrs. Dixon would have had to have rocks in her head (or a secret helper in the kitchen) even to attempt this…it’s definitely not for a kitchen newbie. But I don’t believe even Bettina could make the chicken and sweet potatoes appealing—for the sake of domestic harmony one can only hope the Dixon’s dog upended the table before the guests had a chance to dig in.