Chapter 37 The Big Secret continued

How It Tasted

Creole Lamb

Milomir: Well, the sauce is good.

Indeed the vegetable-laden sauce was extremely good: nice color, snappily seasoned, all in all a very fine dish. But the same can’t be said for the cubes of rubbery lamb (polyurethane chunks?) that festooned it. It would appear that poaching lamb is not the way to go—unless of course one’s jaw muscles need a serious workout or there’s a mattress to be stuffed.

Potato and Green Corn Croquettes

There wasn’t a speck of meat or fish in these deep-fried cylinders, but nonetheless they tasted uncannily like the codfish balls I prepared a couple of weeks ago.

Although they held their shape well they really didn’t bear much resemblance to ears of corn, and the creamy smoothness of the mashed potatoes seemed to predominate. But in truth that blandness was something of a relief after the spicy lamb stew—certainly a tongue-soother that helped to mitigate the bite.

Rhubarb Sauce

Milomir: Pass the jam, please.

Even craftily spooned into a dish and beaten with a fork this rhubarb “sauce” didn’t fool anyone—one glance was enough to reveal that it was in fact jam.

Still, as bottled fruit spreads go it was rather nice. Its tart flavor is far more appealing to us than the more common (and much too sweet) strawberry and grape jams and jellies. And, like the croquettes, it helped dilute the spicy wallop the lamb…a bland palate-pleaser which, at this point in the meal, was desperately needed.

Bread and Butter

As it turned out this commercial loaf was perfectly suited to a meal based on leftover lamb and corn—economy was the order of the day here, and inexpensive bread certainly fit the bill.

Moreover, the precut slices served a double purpose: perfect vehicles not only the rhubarb jam but the sauce coddling the lamb. Usually no one but me pays much attention to the bread, but during the course of the meal we collectively consumed almost half the loaf.

Head Lettuce with French Dressing

While preparing this dressing I marveled at how easy it was but, as it turned out, even measuring the four ingredients into a jar and shaking it proved to be something of a waste--just dumping straight vinegar on the salads would have had the same general effect and saved precious minutes in the bargain.

It seems impossible that I failed making something this simple, but it’s also hard to believe that the inventor of this dressing had any enamel left on his or her teeth by the time the recipe was perfected. It really was strong—almost unbearably so—and a definite no-no for anyone without cast-iron choppers and a stomach to match.

Lemon Chiffon Pie

Filip: It’s melting.

Yes, like the cinematic Wicked Witch of the West this pie literally disintegrated before our eyes (no bucket of water necessary to achieve the effect, just the touch of a fork).

But despite its (nonexistent) texture this pie was actually something of a hit—it had a good citrus flavor, a nice color, and a much-appreciated whipped cream garnish. I’ve never before served a pie that had to be ladled up with soup spoons, but everyone seemed to enjoy it and, thanks to the commercial crust binding it together, these oozing slices weren’t completely unmanageable.

Cheese

Alas the cheese was overlooked until the meal’s conclusion—a good thing, perhaps, as in some thirty minutes at room temperature it somehow turned to rubber. Not surprising that this cheapo cheese was less than satisfactory…it was a store brand and suitable only (in my opinion) for luring rats into traps.

Would I Make This Again?

As so often happens the answer to this question is less than clear cut. Yes, I would make this meal again, but not without some major deletions from the bill of fare.

The sauce the lamb sat sulking in was excellent, the bread and the jam very good. The croquettes are harder for me to give either a yay or a nay…at the time they seemed to compliment the meal, but in retrospect I wonder if their bland creaminess was only attractive in contrast to the rawhide-like qualities of the lamb.

The pie received a mixed review from the troops: tasty, but so unattractive we couldn’t enjoy it properly.

And the salad dressing? Definitely a thumbs’ down—even days later the very thought of it sends chills down my spine. It really was a horror and something appropriate for only a couple of occasions: a plumbing emergency, or when varnish needs to be stripped from the floors.