How It Tasted
Berry
Pie
Best pie ever! The crust was rick and flaky, the
filling perfectly sweetened with an A+ texture… (can I pack more superlatives
into this description?)
In short this pie was excellent—without a doubt the
best Bettina dessert I’ve ever made. That’s doubly amazing as the pie looked
such a mess going into the oven with its patched crust and scanty filling. It
certainly proves the point that no Bettina dish should be judged solely on
looks—the ultimate test comes only after placing a bite in your mouth.
Sour
Cream Cookies
These cookies looked fantastic but tasted awful—the
complete reverse of the rather sad looking but scrumptious pie described above.
And it’s no exaggeration to use the word awful—the dry-as-dust-rounds had no
taste other than that provided by the raisins (which DH and Son surreptitiously picked
out and snuck into their mouth).
“Children love cookies,” declares Bettina, but only a
family of pups would enjoy gnawing these horrid little biscuits. They were that
bad, that terrible, and fit more for kindling a fire than feeding to guests.
Tomato
Jelly with Boiled Salad Dressing
Filip:
[spitting into his napkin]: I’m sorry, I can’t eat this.
That pretty well sums it up—NO ONE could eat this
dish, and adding it to the Do Not Attempt Again list would assuredly draw
cheers from my family. They were shocked by the look, taste, and texture of
this supposed “jelly”, and even more appalled that I dared to serve it up in
the first place.
Thanks no doubt to the extra water I added, the tomato
solids sank to the bottom of the glass cups—and when I flipped them over I was
faced with two inches of faintly tomato-tasting red stuff suspended above an
layer of clear goo. Unfortunately the boiled dressing heaped on top didn’t help
one bit—in tasted every bit as foul as the tomato stuff and, thanks to its
slipperiness, was almost impossible to scrape off.
Doughnuts
Filip:
You made bagels!
It’s rather unfortunate that I didn’t--bagels
(homemade or otherwise) would have received a better reception from the family.
Really, the taste of these homemade doughnuts wasn’t
terrible—in fact, they had almost no taste at all. The modern doughnut has
little in common with these odd rounds of fried dough—they were plain as punch,
slightly greasy, and (I imagine) truly horrible if sampled the next day. A
layer of sugar glaze or chocolate frosting might have been helpful—but in the
end I ‘helped’ myself by simply dumping them in the trash.
Would I Make This Again?
Is this a trick question?
Obviously (with the exception of the pie) the answer
is a big fat NO—these dishes were not only an assault on all five senses but
obnoxiously complicated to prepare.
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