Chapter 17 (Bob Gets Breakfast on Sunday)

Introduction

On this beautiful Sunday morning Bob surprised Bettina by donning a polka dot apron and cheerfully assembling breakfast (it’s clear his subjugation is complete).

Or maybe not. Obviously fresh from a wartime stint his breakfast might well warm the heart of a mess cook, but it carries with it more than a hint of passive-aggressiveness. What would Bettina’s ladylike friends think of a meal featuring oatmeal and dried creamed beef? For that matter, what does our heroine think of Bob’s sudden avowal that he “loves to cook” as he slaps the platter down before her? Has Bettina created a monster with an undying passion for Spam? Horrors!

Part 1

The Menu

Grapefruit
Oatmeal
Cream
Creamed Beef
Toast Rounds
Rolls
Butter
Coffee

Preparing the Meal

Grapefruit

No grapefruit for the Mostic family, unfortunately. My husband takes medication to control his blood pressure, and because of possible interactions any sort of grapefruit or grapefruit juice is verboten!

After some thought I decided to substitute pineapple chunks—slightly tart, like grapefruit, and no harder to prepare than opening a can.

Oatmeal

Ick. My abhorrence to this dish dates back to my childhood, when we were expected to finish every last spoonful of gloppy goo in our bowls before leaving the table.

Frankly, I wish I could find a substitute for this loathsome dish (Cheerios, anyone?). Unfortunately, having had to eliminate the grapefruit for health reasons, I feel I have no choice but to stick as close to the rest of the menu as possible.

So, out comes the oatmeal, the salt, the measuring cups, and my (improvised) double broiler. Seems like a simple dish of oats shouldn’t require all this equipment, but then we’re talking Bettina—never cook with a single pot when it’s possible to juggle three!

Basically the cereal is to be cooked well in advance and then “warmed” in the top of a double broiler. No doubt an oat fancier like the late great Man o’ War would approve but then, he’s not doing to cooking…

Remembering Jane Eyre’s comments about the evils of scorched porridge I prepared this over the lowest flame possible. These oats took more than an hour to cook and then about half that time to warm back up—not a quick and easy dish by any means.

Creamed Beef

By the greatest of good luck I was able to locate dried beef at the supermarket—in fact, I purchased it more than a month ago knowing full that this bomb shelter staple would keep almost indefinitely.

Dried beef on toast, as retro as it seems, is actually a dish I’m familiar with. My grandmother (bless her heart) was a less-than-enthusiastic cook whose repertoire was shaped by the Great Depression and World War 2. Spam and creamed dried beef were often found on her table—cradled, amazingly enough, in toast cups shaped like tulips.

No bread cups here, thank goodness…just rounds of toast inserted under each scoop of beef.

I was surprised when I opened the jar of beef—I was expecting paper-thin slivers of meat. These slabs look something like potato chips and smell exactly like beef jerky.

Melt the butter and then add and cook the beef until it “frizzles” (whatever that means)

Butter + beef + flour + milk. Scrumptious.

Rolls with Butter

Thankfully rolls rather than some kind of quick bread are listed on the menu. Personally I’m very fond of the commercial rolls sold by the Safeway bakery, so those are what I purchased.

And to make them better still I made an effort to find some better-than-average butter.

Coffee

Ugh. Ever since learning the Bettina way of making coffee sans percolator I haven’t been too enthusiastic about the stuff. It’s too strong; requires three pots, two spoons, and an egg separator; and is the very last thing I want to bother with in the morning.

The Setting

It’s the most beautiful morning of the year, I do believe—Bettina

Not here on the Central Coast…in fact, the sky was even grayer and the air damper than usual.

In the spirit of the Bettina project I suppose I should have taken it as a challenge to get DH and Son to eat at the picnic table outside—couldn’t be any more difficult than stuffing Bob into an apron! But I didn’t have the heart to insist , and I knew that toting creamed beef and oatmeal across the living room would result in a massive cleaning project when the plates inevitably tipped.

Sorry, Bettina—this meal will be eaten inside.

How It Looked