Chapter 16 (Bettina Has a Caller)

Introduction

It’s a bright July morning, and the doctor is definitely in!

The day after the motor picnic a distraught Mrs. Dixon (wife of the gentleman who drove the automobile) comes rapping at Bettina’s door. The poor woman is simply beside herself--Hubby Frank has been castigating her for her lack of domestic skills and, still worse, staying out late six nights out of seven.

Yikes! sounds like a marriage headed for the rocks. Fortunately Dr. Bettina knows just what her patient should do: brush up her cooking skills, rent a house on the sly, and install Frank therein as Lord of the Manor.

“You do as I tell you for one month and I’ll guarantee that Frank will be home every single minute that he can,” prescribes Bettina, and Mrs. Dixon (with happy tears in her eyes) agrees.

Quite a bizarre little vignette and an—ahem--interesting life philosophy on the part of Dr. Bettina.

Still, it would be comforting to believe that all of life’s troubles (particularly those of the marital sort) can be smoothed away by a plate of muffins and a pot of good coffee. Certainly Mrs. Dixon is a ready convert—but can she really learn to cook without setting the kitchen on fire or inadvertently poisoning Frank?

Part 1

The Menu

Coffee

Twin Mountain Muffins

Preparing the Meal

Coffee

…real, sure ‘nough coffee that will make Frank’s eyes stick out!—Bettina to Mrs. Dixon

One has to wonder just what exactly is in this brew—a pinch of arsenic?

But upon reading the recipe I was a tad disappointed to see that’s it’s just a standard coffee recipe—no rat poison listed but rather a teaspoon of egg white, and brewed in a pot rather than a percolator.

I was curious enough about the egg white—I’d seen it listed in various coffee recipes before—to look it up, and apparently its purpose is to clarify the coffee and help the grounds settle to the bottom.

Sounds a bit strange, but I’m certainly willing to try—if nothing else the coffee’s supposedly eye-popping effects should be interesting to see!

Step 1. Boil two lots of water—one with which to scald out the pot and the other to dissolve the coffee in.

Step 2. Separate the egg

Step 3. Make a paste of ground coffee, cold water, and egg white and then add the boiling water.

Step 4. Boil the coffee on the stove for two minutes

Step 5. Turn away from the stove for just a second and hear the pot boiling over

Step 6. Clean up the mess; repeat steps one through five ad infinitum

Twin Mountain Muffins

A relatively simple muffin with an intriguing name. I really don’t know why these muffins are called Twin Mountain. Reading the list of ingredients I don’t see anything out of the ordinary, and the scanty ¼ cup of sugar called for is a pretty sure bet they’ll taste plainer than plain.

Once again with the sifter (clearly Bettina's favorite appliance)

Egg and milk added to the dry ingredients; mix; then into the oven

Now the reason for the name is obvious. In fact, the one in the foreground looks like Mt. St. Helen’s just seconds before eruption

Upon cooling these muffins seemed a little rubbery, so I performed a little vivisection and broke one in half.

I don’t believe those tunnels are supposed to be there…

How It Looked