How It Tasted
Fried
Chicken
Foul!
(pun
not intended)
Sadly, the chicken was indescribably bad—an assault on
practically all of the senses that left everyone at the table rather stunned. Despite
reaching an internal temperature of 175 degrees Fahrenheit the chicken was a
rubbery as if it had just fluttered onto the table—our jaws were working
double time to get it down.
And of course the look of the bird was equally
appalling (see above). As I’d noticed during the frying process the browned
part of each piece stuck to the bottom of the pan and then broke down, leaving
each piece with a layer wallpaper paste well-spiked with oil.
This dish was so terrible that no one even realized it
was supposed to fried chicken (I was too embarrassed to enlighten them). I
doubt Mrs. Dixon’s version came out as badly as mine, but there’s no doubt in
my mind that, had that been the case, her husband would have called for an
immediate end to the domestic experiment and moved back to the hotel that night.
Dixie
Sweet Potatoes
Another failure—not on as grand a scale as the
chicken, but still pretty bad.
The main trouble with the potatoes was not that they
were too sweet but rather failed to cook evenly. In the allotted cooking time
some became tender, some mushy, and some seemingly as tough as when they first
went into the oven.
The dish’s appearance was also something of a stunner
to everyone: great, knobby potatoes covered with slices of frizzled bacon and
unidentifiable gooey bits of something [pineapple] that everyone nervously avoided.
Corn
on the Cob
Filip:
This I like.
This simple dish was a godsend and ultimately saved us
from the expense of a delivery pizza. After passing on the chicken and potatoes
(not that I could blame them) DH and Son were ravenous, and the corn filled them
up nicely. I had cooked three ears and that really wasn’t enough—they easily
could have twice as much.
Bread
and Butter
I’m not a corn fancier so for me this dish was manna
from heaven—after eschewing the poisonous chicken and potatoes I too was
ravenous and stuffed myself with bread. Certainly there was nothing special
about this commercial, pre-sliced loaf, but at least it was there and really pretty decent.
Sliced
Cucumber, Tomato and Onion Salad
A confession: I cheated here with the dressing. One
taste of Mr. Dixon’s specialty sent me straight to the bottle of Kraft Zesty
Italian I keep tucked away in the refrigerator. Unlike my husband and son I
don’t mind an acid tang in dressings, but this was just too much—like chugging
vinegar straight from the bottle.
The vegetables themselves were less successful than
expected—I think we all would have preferred thin slices rather than adobe-like
blocks (although my son did derive some entertainment by stacking them into
towers).
Vanilla
Ice Cream with Peaches
Milomir:
I’ll have some more of that.
This was the one true success of the meal, and it was
a huge relief to have something come out well. The ice cream was far superior
to any commercial brand I’ve ever tasted—smooth and creamy, not overly sweet,
and with just a touch of vanilla.
The peaches meant to accompany the ice cream however
were something of a flop. They were purchased frozen (as noted above) and, even properly
defrosted, had an unsettling crunch that clashed with the oh-so-smooth cream.
White
Cake
Milomir:
Are there any nuts to sprinkle on top?
I really enjoyed this cake—DH and Son were somewhat
less enthusiastic.
The cake itself was what I’ve come to expect from
Bettina-style cakes: dense, weighty, anything but delicate. But the frosting
was excellent, with a pleasant color and a nice caramel-like flavor. My husband
thought some chopped nuts would have improved it but, in my opinion, that would
have been gilding the lily.
Iced
Tea
Again, I appreciated this beverage more than my
husband and son (the caffeine thing again, I suppose), but they both dutifully
drank a glass. It helped some that besides adding lemon slices I’d pre-sugared
the tea—certainly made it more palatable and saved everyone the trouble of searching
for the sugar bowl.
Would I Make This Again?
Heck, no…taken as a whole this meal took far too long
to prepare, and two of the dishes were completely inedible. Quick and easy it
isn’t—Mrs. Dixon would have had to have rocks in her head (or a secret helper
in the kitchen) even to attempt this…it’s definitely not for a kitchen newbie. But
I don’t believe even Bettina could make the chicken and sweet potatoes appealing—for
the sake of domestic harmony one can only hope the Dixon’s dog upended the table before
the guests had a chance to dig in.