Chapter 20 (Mrs. Dixon and Bettina’s Experiment)

Introduction

It’s D-Day—time for Mrs. Dixon to assume the role of homemaker AND spring the fact that she’s leased a house for a year on her husband.

Her plan of attack:

Step 1. Lure Mr. Dixon to the new house with an ominously vague phone call

Step 2. Ply him with hot coffee and muffins

Step 3. Reveal to him that the house he’s now sitting in is theirs for the next twelve months

Quite a risky revelation for an early 20^th century woman to make—but with Cerano de Bettina lurking in the new kitchen everything is bound to work out!

Part 1

The Menu

Spanish Buns

White Sauce

What an odd choice of dishes—particularly on a day that, in Bettina’s world, is already full of surprises. Frankly I have no idea what the connection between buns and white sauce is…perhaps Mr. Dixon is supposed to dunk the first in the second to help get it down?

Spanish Buns

Well, we’ve seen these before, haven’t we? Mrs. Dixon certainly has and in fact wants to install Bettina in her new kitchen to conduct a crash course on how to make them.

I myself have mixed feeling about these buns/muffins—primarily because they require fresh currants, which are almost impossible to find in our area. Last time I resorted to rehydrated dried fruit, and the results weren’t terribly impressive. Despite a long soak in boiling water the currants were somehow reduced to crunchy specks during the baking process—not exactly appetizing.

But I’m willing to try again and this time will soak the fruit overnight. Will it help? I have no idea.

As always a large number of ingredients for a supposedly simple dish…

…and of course the sifter to give my hand a real workout.

So far so good. The batter looks perfect.

Add the currants, fill the muffin tray, and poke it into the oven.

Done, and they seem OK. No tunnels this time!

We’re currently in the midst of a heat wave, so I’m going to seal these in a self-locking container to keep them fresh for dinner.

Now for the icing. Simple enough: milk (should be cream, but as I forgot to buy any and milk will have to suffice), powdered sugar, and vanilla

My, this looks thin. It’s either caused by substituting milk instead of cream or the terrible heat in the kitchen…maybe both.

White Sauce [X4]

Four, count ‘em, FOUR different white sauces to make on this very hot day. I’m not pleased, Bettina.

The prep for all four is exactly the same—only the ratio of butter to flour varies from sauce to sauce.

White sauce #1 (for soup)

Melt the butter (in this version 1 tablespoon)

Add flour (1 tablespoon) plus ¼ teaspoon salt

Mix until smooth and then add milk (1 cup)

“Bring to a boil, stirring constantly”

Finished [fanfare of trumpets]

White Sauce #2 (for creamed vegetables and fish)

Melt the butter (2 tablespoons), add flour (2 tablespoons) and salt, mix, add milk, and bring to a boil.

This sauce looks very similar to the last, but it’s definitely thicker.

White Sauce #3 (“for oyster or other patties”)

Melt the butter (now up to 3 tablespoons), add flour (also 3) and salt, milk, and boil. *yawn*

For some reason this sauce lumped up on me numerous times. I had to keep taking it off the heat and beating it smooth with a whisk.

White Sauce #4 (for croquettes, also known as a “binding” white sauce--edible glue, in other words)

Now this sauce is different. The higher ration of flour (4 tablespoons) to butter (3 tablespoons) makes it a cinch to burn

Much better.

This isn’t glue but spackle--probably could use it to plug nail holes in the walls.

The four sauces

The “run” test. Sauces 1 through 4, left to right

Done. Halleluiah.

Now what am I going to do with four cups of sauce (besides hiding it in the back of the fridge)?

How It Looked

I didn’t get a final snap of the sauces as they never made it to the table, but here’s a mugshot of the Spanish buns.

Chapter 19 (Bettina and the Expense Budget continued)

How It Tasted

Cold Ham

Filip: Can you warm mine up?

Fortunately my husband was on hand to tell Filip that the ham was supposed to be eaten cold—“like lunch meat,” he said. Oddly enough my son was convinced—kid logic, I suppose.

As far as the meat goes it tasted fine, but I would have liked it better between two slices of bread with a ton of mustard and mayo. Cold ham is fine in a sandwich or perhaps as an appetizer, but in my opinion it’s not filling enough for a main course.

Green Peppers Stuffed With Rice

Oh boy, were these peppers bland—they really were like eating baby food. DH and Son dutifully ate theirs unadorned, but I grabbed the salt and pepper shakers and doused mine pretty thoroughly.

The pepper shells were also a little peculiar. They’d softened only a little in the oven, and their still-crisp texture contrasted oddly with creamy smoothness of the stuffing (rice gruel, really).

Butterhorns

As predicted these butterhorns weren’t ready in time for dinner, but that turned out to be fortunate as in the end they really weren’t very good. As a substitute I put a plate of sliced French bread on the table, and it was far better than the leaden, overbaked lumps that eventually came out of the oven.

Peach Butter

This smelled good, looked great (wonderful color), but was oh so sugary. Wikipedia characterizes fruit butters as “lightly sweetened” but this was anything but. I longed to add a good shot of lemon juice to it, but my husband seemed to enjoy it.

Hot Fudge Cake

Needless to say this was another dish that didn’t make it to the table on time. In fact, no one but me ever saw the smoking ruins since I hid the pan in the sink under a pile of dirty dishes.

The failure of this dish was pretty astounding—the first thing that failed so completely I couldn’t even attempt to serve it.

I did take the time to check Bettina’s version against more modern recipes, and yes 21^st century Hot Fudge Cakes do not call for eggs whites. So this really was more like a soufflé—maybe some loud bang or crash in the kitchen brought about its collapse?

All in all a very disappointing recipe and absolute murder to scrape out of the muffin tin (in the end I had to use boiling water to soften the hard-baked crust).

Would I Make This Again?

Surprising, yes. The ham and peach butter, although not dishes I particularly enjoyed, came out more or less as they were supposed to. I suppose the stuffed peppers fall in that category too—again a dish not suited to my tastes but perfect for someone with stomach ulcers, I suppose.

The butterhorns failed but only I suspect because they were rushed through their rising time and on into the oven.

And the hot fudge cake? I’m determined to run that recipe again and figure out exactly where I went wrong. As noted above this dish was an astonishing failure, such a total flop that I’m almost intrigued by it. Was it the recipe, my technique, or what? I really don’t know but certainly intend to find out!

Chapter 19 (Bettina and the Expense Budget)

Introduction

Live within your means, and save as well as invest something.—Bettina

Food and finances—a potentially explosive combination!

Fortunately Bettina’s rather bland dinner is helped rather than hindered by a lively discussion about the household budget. All appears in order, and even Bob marvels how Bettina remains in the black despite the throngs of hungry neighbors constantly besieging the house.

But manage she does and, as Bob observes between mouthfuls of hot fudge cake, “This way seems to suit us to a T!”

Part 1

The Menu

Cold Ham

Green Peppers Stuffed With Rice

Butterhorns

Peach Butter

Hot Fudge Cake

Preparing the Meal

Cold Ham

Delightfully simple: purchase a chunk of pre-cooked ham, cut it up, and arrange the slices artistically on a plate. Easy peasy--in fact, I almost feel guilty about it.

Green Peppers

Bettina must be growing pygmy peppers in her garden because this recipe demands six to feed two people. Even more amazing, these half-dozen can apparently be stuffed with a mere half cup of rice (plus sauce, onions, and spices).

I have no idea where to obtain peppers the size of plums and, frankly, I’m not fool enough to try. At the supermarket I chose four of the smallest available and *shrug* they’ll simply have to do.

White rice mixed with cream sauce—could any stuffing be more bland? I tried a spoonful and, yes, it is extremely mild—like Pablum, in fact. With luck the peppers encasing the stuffing will add a bit of zip, though.

Trouble. I cleaned out and cut the bottoms off the four peppers and then realized I had only enough stuffing for two. I’m not quite sure how two stuffed peppers are going to be enough to feed the three of us, but perhaps we can draw straws [grin].

Feels a bit odd to just popping these peppers into the oven to bake—no sauce, no marinade, not even any water in the bottom of the pan. I can’t believe this is going to work but (as I so often remind myself when cooking a la Bettina) Mine is not to question why…

Butterhorns

Now these rolls should be fun to make. I’ve never had much luck with Bettina’s baking powder-based breadstuffs, but I do make yeast-risen doughs occasionally and have always had fairly good results.

Bettina’s recipe calls for compressed yeast cakes but, outside of specialty food stores, those are just not available anymore. Fortunately dry yeast is readily available and, after a little research on the Internet, I calculated that one envelope of powdered yeast dry is equivalent to one compressed cake.

No sifting required. Excellent!

No kneading of the dough, either...hmm.

Alas the dough supposedly requires four hours for its first rise. With dinner just four hours and thirty minutes away I’m beginning to believe this isn’t going to work—I (or rather the butterhorns) are facing a serious time crunch here.

[Approximately thirty minutes before dinner] Well the dough has completed its first rise, but getting these rolls on the table in time is akin now to Mission Impossible. I still have to roll out the dough, shape the rolls, let them rise a second time, and then bake in the oven for a good twenty minutes.

The dough broken into two lots and then formed into balls

One ball rolled into the size “of a large dinner plate”

“Cut into rectangles”

Each rectangle formed into a cylinder and placed, point side down, on a greased cookie sheet

Rise, damn you!

Just out of the oven…not picture-perfect rolls bakery rolls by any means. I certainly hope they taste better than they look.

Peach Butter

Peaches sliced and cooked with sugar—after the peppers the simplest Bettina recipe I’ve seen in a long time.

After skinning the peaches with a vegetable peeler I started the laborious process of cutting them “very fine”. Fortunately my common sense kicked in after just a few slices and I then hauled out my manual grater.

A real life saver!

After mixing the peach slices with sugar and letting them sit for twenty minutes it was time to cook them down. I’m a bit doubtful that twenty-five minutes of simmering is going to reduce these to pulp, but we’ll see.

Nope. Still more or less intact after the requisite cooking time.

Back on the stove…

Success—and with only five extra minutes of cooking time. These look perfect and, because I immediately put a top on the jar, are unlikely to discolor.

Hot Fudge Cake

This is a dish that has survived into the 21^st century—in fact, I made it from a modern recipe to a short time ago. The end result was basically a chocolate muffin swimming in fudge sauce—eye appealing and obviously well-suited to today’s palate.

Hmm…I don’t remember whipped egg white being part of the recipe I used. Bettina’s version is beginning to seem more like a soufflé than a cake.

Now I’ll just pop these into the oven…

…and after twenty-five minutes pull out a pan of smoking craters! Holy Cow! Something went very very wrong here but I have no idea what.

Ugh. I can’t serve this to my family. In fact, I’m not even sure how to get this mess chipped out of the muffin cups.

*SNIFF*

How It Looked